so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There r osticjed everywhere
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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