real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
