Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
