just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
