i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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