The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
