Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
