She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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