dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
