So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
