? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
