It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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