What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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