I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
