Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
