One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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