Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
