i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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