omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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