Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
