awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
