well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
