everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
