I am in a vortex of obligation.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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