dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
