The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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