After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
