I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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