I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
