Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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