why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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