This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
