She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
