you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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