I think im going to throw up on grandma
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
