I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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