how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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