they need to just BURY HIM!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
