Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
