so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
