Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
