The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
