Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
