So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
