my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
