I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Who died my cat blue again?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
