Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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