What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
it's like heaven, but drunker
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
