Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
ugly people sure do ruin things
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
