Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
