Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
as a side note pls kill me
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
